sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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