He uses pillows to masturbate.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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