discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
