i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
