there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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