i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
