dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
