You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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