i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
