Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
