I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
