Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
