break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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