i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
