Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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