Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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