Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Shame - the story of my life.
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