Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
