How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
