Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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