so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
