Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and she was petting her beer can
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
