I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
