im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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