to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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