They should really pass out barf bags in church
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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