My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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