I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize