I just cut my nipple shaving
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
