I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
