Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Randomize
