Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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