they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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