i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
