Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
