drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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