Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
