I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
