We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize