He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
