Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
