If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
