i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.