U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm really busy with my period
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