Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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