I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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