only if we run a train.
done.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
