So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
and she was petting her beer can
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
