Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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