You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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