Yo dont text me then not text me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
