Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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