Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
