So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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