Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
