How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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