Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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